Good morning! The time is 10:33 AM, and we stopped serving breakfast exactly three minutes ago. It’s lunchtime now.

While you may have just witnessed a waiter breeze by with two plates of breakfast deliciousness for the couple in the corner, you should know that their order was placed 15 minutes ago—during breakfast time. And while I agree that eggs and bacon are a great way to start the day, unfortunately we are simply unable to make any breakfast items past 10:30 AM.

Perhaps you were out late last night, and that hangover of yours is now craving our fucking-incredible french toast platter with a side of extra-crispy bacon. Or maybe you’re just one of those rare lunatics who enjoys slow mornings and a cooked breakfast.

We are truly sorry. Wish there was something we could do for you.

If only you’d shown up four minutes ago during breakfast time, you could be sipping black coffee at that nice table by the window, while prepping your tastebuds for the flavor euphoria that is our crab cake eggs benedict. Instead, you’re standing here arguing over a simple matter with a college sophomore.

Think about it from our perspective. What kind of restaurant would we have if we were willing to crack a couple of eggs into a frying pan or, god forbid, pour a dollop of pancake batter onto a hot skillet—no matter the time of day?

Be reasonable, sir. We’re running a business here.

But if you’re stuck on having some pancakes this morning, might I suggest visiting the extremely popular restaurant next door that serves breakfast around the clock? Otherwise, we have some great sandwiches on our lunch menu.

We even have one with a fried egg on it.

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